Forbidden city


How to have a fun day out in Beijing:

  1. Navigate the subway system to get to the forbidden city
  2. Queue and buy tickets for something that is not the forbidden city
  3. Check in bags for something that is not the forbidden city
  4. Realise 2 and 3, retrieve bags
  5. Queue to buy tickets for the forbidden city
  6. Read the sign at the front of the queue stating passports must be shown, which you do not have
  7. Manage to buy tickets anyway
  8. Enter the forbidden city
  9. Feel cheated by the Hall of Earthly Tranquility, which should be renamed the Hall of Tourist Chaos
  10. Try to exit the forbidden city the way you entered, which is not an exit
  11. Walk a very long way to find an exit
  12. Get the subway back to your hotel
  13. Collapse

During the above:

  • Have bags x-rayed 5 times
  • Be forced to drink your water by subway security to prove it’s not a chemical weapon, while being laughed at by Chinese bystanders
  • Walk 15,000 steps
  • Be continually jostled and elbowed

All on day 1! Fun times.

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